Connection by Touch

Mindfulness & Meditation are words that have been used with increased popularity in the past number of years. We have seen a significant increase in self help and self loving workshops, books and articles.

Personally, I give a lot of respect to these discipine that predominately come from the Eastern cultures.

There is one thing, however, that has been slowly building in my mind that I have been learning for a long time in a practical and theroetical sense.

Sincere actions with heartfelt Intentions to any given situation. One could releate these to ‘being in the now’.

The majority of us are loving and caring people who endevour to live good lives. This, however, has got a little lost in the recent decade through, I feel, the influx of social media influencers and the simultanious decrease or lack of people having a ‘fulfilling purpose’. Something is telling me it is this combination that is pushing us towards ‘inner peace’, ‘safe places’, ‘beach bodies’ and of course ‘mindfulness’. It is important to note here that the majority of these posts are well meaning with good intentions.

That being said, I’ll try to now build upon the ealier phrase, Sincere actions with heartfelt Intentions to any given situation.

We have all seen the beauty of viral videos where a child shows nothing but compassion, empathy through a simple action. I saw a video the other day of a big brother (probably 6years old) cook and serve his little brother (probably 2years old) a meal in a economically poor asian setting.

To me, this is what stands out – The naturalness of the actions by the big brother, and the calmness of the little brother.

Translating this to my experience, suggests to me, that we tend to fail on the receiving. I’m the first to plead guilty to this failure.

The problem with the failure is that I have somehow come to forget the self-love and mindfulness of myself when it come to receiving help…. To admit to oneself, for those little moments, that I need some love and attention and someone needs to give in order to boost their own self-confidence, self appreciation and self care. The simple act of giving a gift and/or time is necessary for all of us. Therefore, we need to be mindful to the human need of giving.

We have a natural need and inbuild desire to give and help in a sincere way. Neuroscience is telling us that the simple act of giving to a loved one produces a release of the ‘happy hormones’ in our brain – leading to a roll on affect to our immune, digestive and endocrine systems.

As a Body Therapist, I implore you to use the simple action of touch. Touch a loved one to test this science. When your partner, best friend, family member comes to you next, ask them if that have some tightness or stress in their lives. Standing behind them, place your hands on their shoulders, squeeze a few times and give them a hug from behind.

Repeat it a few times, in silence and with your eyes closed. Say quietly to the person to close their eyes and imagine they are soft jelly.

Alternatively when giving a hug, both persons should breath in deeply for 7 seconds and out for 7 seconds. Close your eyes and take focus to your heart during your breath.

This may produce a few sysmtoms….

  1. releaxation and stillness. The world may stop for a moment.
  2. A release of tension which will allow both of you ‘just be’ without thought or need to say anything
  3. A rush of energy that stimulates a ‘love’ sensaiton of some kind
  4. A release of the stress hormone, cortisol, that can make you a little emotional. Have a little cry if need be.

18 months ago I suffered a serious accident and have since suffered from Post Concussion Syndrome. It has been both a physically and mentally horrible jouney to recover. The life changing event affected me to the point of no work, little socialising, and making my way around town.

The biggest turning point for me was to face the fear of why I could not seem to ‘receive’ help. My ego was so strong that I couldn’t see how my up-bringing had negitively affected my desire to be ‘strong and independent’.

After confronting my past and understanding that I had blocked out (many many years in the making) my ‘need’ to be loved and cared for, I started to ‘let go’ and   allowed the calming gifts of sincere love to be received….. my symptoms immediately started to get a little less and not as intense or stay with me for a long time.

So, in summary, I think that we should all look to give and receive with more sincere intent in our actions. Connect to each other by touch and find out by feeling, how important it is to us as a spieces.